Friday 21 November 2014

selectively social

Are you selectively social? I am.
Read this to find out.


4, 5, 6, 11, 12 are especially true to me.

I wouldn't say that I am selectively social(ble) all my life. This behaviour was more prominent when I was in uni. I would find myself trying to avoid people because I really didn't feel like talking to anyone unless necessary.


Well, partly also because I found myself struggling to click with some of the Singaporean students in the same courses that I attended. It was sooo painful hanging out with them because I would pretend to be interested in their lame conversation topics or fake a laugh at whatever they found amusing. An obvious case of way different frequencies. Unfortunately I had to see them quite often throughout the week because of lessons. I'd never felt the need to fit in or to be part of their clique, so I drifted away from their company and enjoyed life (and peace!) in solitude!! Zen is me.


Surprisingly I didn't feel that lonely despite not having many friends. I usually eat lunch by myself because I can zone out/ play games/ read news or class materials, or basically just eat in peace. Anyway, there was once someone from the same course (not from the group mentioned above) spotted me eating lunch outdoors by myself... So he decided to talk to me and uh... Told me I could join his group for lunch next time if I wanted. I found myself in a state of amusement and was slightly offended. So you think I AM LONELY?! I ONLY LOOK like I'm lonely BECAUSE I CHOOSE to be alone!!


Ok. I guess I was offended then.
But thanks for your kind intentions (knowing that it was my first semester as an international student).


On some days I would diagnose myself with a lack of human contact and start rambling off to someone or go grocery shopping with my house mate/project mate. As you can tell, I survive on short-term contact with humans to stay sane. Just need to hit an imaginary quota and I'm back to my shell.


So... Are you selectively social? We could be friends.
But I guess we'd rather not hang out (LOL).

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